Hollywood Producer Guy: "Geez, we're really running on fumes here since we tapped out the comic book market! We've even done board game movies in our desperation. What's next for us?"
Guy #2: "I got it, boss! This book has been on the New York Times Bestseller list for 791 years and nobody's made a movie yet!"
Hollywood Producer Guy: "But it's an informational book. There's no story."
Guy: "Your point?..."
Hollywood Producer Guy:"Get the authors on the phone! I have movie rights to buy!"
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At least that's how I imagine it went down when this dipshit idea came into being.
When I saw the poster with J-Lo on it I thought it was a cleverly photoshopped joke. A quick google search told me it was sadly a reality. Fo' realio, Jennyfromtheblock? You already did the horrible panned pregnancy flick. A flick that my movie-lovin' sis and I walked out of. Yeah, that's right. We just couldn't make it to the end, a sentiment I'm sure was shared by many cinema patrons.
The latest movies Hollywood is pumping out are shameful, based on anything they can buy the rights to, and What to Expect When You're Expecting (to be released in May) will most likely be another lame-ass multi-storyline POS that boyfriends everywhere will roll their eyes about and be dragged to go see, and girls with small brains will shriek to their friends "Oh my gaawwddd we have to go see that! GIRLS NIGHT!"
Sorry, I don't mean to come across all hostile and shit, but it's true. Check out this jaw-dropping synopsis:
A look at the lives of five couples as they prepare to become parents.[IMDB]
Whoa whoa whoa there, not so much information! You can bet every stereotype will be represented here, from the fertility-treated couple, possibly a lesbian couple, the older couple, the young inexperienced couple, the accidental solo-pregnancy, the "loves being pregnant" Stepford wife, the angry "losing my career" business woman, etc., etc., etc.
Other celebrities who stooped low enough to be a part of this are Anna Kendrick, Cameron Diaz, Elizabeth Banks, Dennis Quaid, Chris Rock, Brooklyn Decker, Megan Mullaly, Chace Crawford, and Mr. Schuester Matthew Morrison.
How do you feel about every single thing that exists in pop culture being made into a film?
More posters featuring other knocked up female celebs after the jump..
Megan: Yeah, oh, shit. Took a hard hard violent fall, kinda pin-balled down hit a lot of railings, broke a lot of shit. I'm not gonna say i survived I'm gonna say I thrived. I met a dolphin down there and I swear to God that dolphin, looked not at me, but into my soul, looked into my Goddamn soul.
~ Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids (2011)
It's been a while folks, but I'm here today to tell you about an upcoming flick. After our piece on our favie Casino gems, I thought it appropriate to follow it up with a movie about a Vegas magician! Abracadabra, synopsis-bo-bopsis!
The film follows Las Vegas magician Burt Wonderstone (Steve Carell) as he attempts to reunite with his former partner Anton Lovecraft (Steve Buscemi) to take on dangerous street magician Steve Gray (Jim Carrey).Wikipedia
I likey. I likey a lot. Cast members also include James Gandolfini, Olivia Wilde, Brad Garrett, Jay Mohr, Alan Arkin and a rumoured David Copperfield as himself. Awesome. How can this go wrong?
When you enter a casino do you get that tingly feeling all over? Do the sounds of the slot machines light a fire in your soul that makes you go “ HERE! Take my money for the infinitesimal chance that I might come out richer!” No? Is it just me? Should I go to some “meetings?” Damn, ok.
I probably go to a casino once a year, if that, but I do get my fix from movies (in fact, movies cater to many of my vices that I don’t dare indulge in in the real world), and the occasional online casino. Stop looking at me like that... I have a slight blackjack addiction. Casinos are akin to their own character in many films, being the perfect setting for many plot devices. They set the stage for financial ruin and success, corruption, greed, social status, crime, business, drinking and debauchery, shenanigans, the list goes on.
So which casino flicks have captured my heart? Which have made the best use of casinos for storytelling? I thought you’d never ask.
Jane Austin’s Mafia! (1998)
Let’s start off with a spoof. All y’all Cin-Obs know we love a good parody, and this one encapsulates almost all of the mafia flicks we know and love with a tone of light-hearted mockery and ricidulousness.
This whole movie is not set in a casino, but there is an unforgettable montage involving one that sticks in my memory. Whenever I lose money gambling, I think back to the scene where people put their money on the table and the dealer just goes “no sorry, you lost” and takes it. Or when people just give up and mail their money in. Or the scene in the back room where the employees are sucking up the money with giant vacuums because they just can’t handle the volume of incoming cash.
When things go bad for the owner, there’s also a great scene that should deter you from cheating. And it involves a cattle prod.
Casino (1995)
I know the real movie snobs will want to bash my skull in for placing Mafia! over Casino (1995) but I just had to. When I think of casinos my brain first goes to fun and comedy, then after to dark depressing real-life scary stuff.
This Scorsese flick is renowned for the actors’ performances, and it also epitomizes the concept of the Casino as a character in the film. It’s an inside look on the life of a casino boss, and you can’t help but feel that this is probably fairly accurate. That’s probably because it’s based on real events and real people. Which blows the mind when you think about the violence and corruption taking place. Even though the Sam Rothstein character (played by De Niro) is a total baddie crime guy, you sympathize with him. You want him to do well. You feel sorry that he has to deal with that putz Nicky (Joe Pesci).
Filming took place in the Riviera in Las Vegas, so you’re not looking at a sound stage. Regardless of the drugs, the mob presence, and murder, you can still feel the glitz and glamour that is the casino experience. After all, no matter who’s running the show behind the scenes, a casino still represents the hope of striking it rich. It can happen to anyone. It usually doesn't, but hey - it could happen.
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Chantale here, ready to discuss some classic casino movies. I started thinking about all the flicks I love that involve gambling. My list was long, then I realized that it wasn't so much about gambling, but more about the fact that they were set in Vegas. I've had a love affair with Vegas since I was a child. What? Don't all kids dream about Sin City? Stop looking at me weird. I always had a thing for Vegas growing up - perhaps it was bright lights, or the magicians, either way, I loved it and still do.
One of my all-time faves is Ocean's 11 (2001).
Now please don't judge me when I tell you that I have not actually seen the original 1960 version with some of the greats. I will see it one day, but for now, my heart pitter patters for the remake. Danny Ocean (George Clooney) rounds up his gang of charismatic, multi-talented crooks for the biggest heist any of them have ever seen. Robbing 3 casinos at once is not easy feat and requires 11 skilled criminals. I loved every one of them! We had Linus Caldwell (Matt Damon) - pickpocket extraordinaire, Basher (Don Cheadle) - blower-upper extraordinaire and Saul Bloom (Carl Reiner) - Master of disguise. Honourable mench goes out to Andy Garcia who played Terry Benedict. Well done Andy, you played one very unlikeable arsehole. Such a great flick with a perfect amount of humour sprinkled throughout. SPOILER ALERT - Every time I watch it, I'm so excited and moved that they pull it off in the end. Fuck Benedict.
Another favie of mine is Vegas Vacation (1997).
Clark Griswold is one effing loveable character I will watch time and time again. Some Cin-Obs may argue that this Vacation flick was a disappointment, but I will have to disagree. I would take Vegas Vacation over European Vacation anyday. I don't care if the Griswold kids change every movie. It don't matter. As long as we have Clark, Helen and cousin Eddie, we're all good.
Where to start? It's an hour and a half of shenanigans in the city that never sleeps. Clark immediately gets the gambling bug and is on a mission to lose all his money from the get go. After losing their life savings, Clark borrows money from cousin Eddie (that they have to dig up all over Eddie's desert property) and they visit the most ridiculous casino eva. Games include 'Pick a Number Between 1 and 10', 'Coin Toss', 'War', 'Rock, Scissors, Paper', and 'Guess Which Hand'. Ahhh classic. We also saw Helen fall for Wayne Newton, and Rusty Griswold (played by Ethan Embry.. swoon) assume his new identity as Nick Papagiorgio. Awesome. This movie, in my mind at least, does not disappoint in the Vacation series. If you haven't seen it, I do recommend.
There are so many great Vegas/casino/gambling movies out there. Are the Cin-Obs surprised by our top picks? Probz not. You know what we like!
Several more exclusive promotional images from the upcoming Hobbit films have been released to the general public, depicting the movie’s all-star cast costumed up as the 13 dwarves (yes, 13, not 7) who drag unwilling hobbit Bilbo Baggins all the way to the Lonely Mountain.
The British contingent is particularly impressive, with Irish actor James Nesbitt taking on the role of Bofur, Being Human’s Aidan Turner cast as Kili and Robin Hood star Richard Armitage playing Thorin Oakenshield. The latter is the dwarf prince who leads the party on their quest to reclaim his home from the dragon, Smaug, who will be played via motion capture by Sherlock’s Benedict Cumberbatch. Quite an impressive line-up, wouldn’t you say?
Of course, there are also several even bigger names reprising their roles having featured in Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy. Sir Ian McKellan is back as Gandalf (many cast members claimed they would have boycotted the film had he declined the role), whilst Andy Serkis, Hugo Weaving and Elijah Wood return as Gollum, Elrond and Frodo respectively.
Filling the shoes of Bilbo himself (although actually hobbits don’t wear shoes) is Martin Freeman, who director Peter Jackson feels is perfect for the role. On announcing his casting decision, Jackson said, “He is intelligent, funny, surprising and brave, exactly like Bilbo, and I feel incredibly proud to be able to announce that he is our Hobbit.”
It seems old news now that, in the transition from book to film, the Hobbit has been split into two, but some are still struggling to come to terms with the idea. If The Lord of the Rings succeeded with only one film each, why should Tolkien’s shorter prequel story get two films dedicated to it? However, on speculation, The Hobbit actually lends itself quite effectively to a two film format. Like the final installments of the Harry Potter franchise, it seems likely that the first Hobbit film will be somewhat of a journey movie whilst the second will be more action-packed and feature the story’s conclusive epic battle.
The Hobbit films, An Unexpected Journey and There and Back Again, will be released in cinemas in December 2012 and 2013 respectively. All three of the Lord of the Rings films, The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers and The Return of the King are available for rental or purchase on Blu-Ray or DVD from LOVEFiLM.
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